


Ford makes a Bargain

by Daegaer



Category: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Adams, Neverwhere - Gaiman
Genre: Aliens, Cats, Crossover, Gen, Humour, Puss in Boots - Freeform, that remarkable book The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-04
Updated: 2010-03-04
Packaged: 2017-10-07 17:22:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/67355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daegaer/pseuds/Daegaer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ford needs to buy some alien equipment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ford makes a Bargain

'They say you can get things,' Ford said, looking round the room in interest.

'They say a lot of things,' the Marquis agreed. 'Why should I get you anything?'

Ford looked at the remains of the roasted seagull lying dismembered on the plates and thought of how he had stood out on the waste ground, bread scattered around him and his arms outstretched like some ginger haired, incredibly tacky artefact of Earth religion until a really fat seagull had come within reach. He hoped he got back up Above before it began to give him too much of a stomach ache.

'I know all sorts of things,' he said casually. 'I can tell you things you wouldn't believe.'

The Marquis looked at him with a long still gaze. Ford looked back, damned if he was going to blink first. After a very long time they both looked aside.

'What are you looking for?' the Marquis asked in a voice that indicated he wasn't really interested and was asking merely to give his vocal cords some exercise.

'A replacement power cell for a Sub-Etha Sens-O-Matic,' Ford said. 'Some idiot dropped mine in alcohol, set it alight while raving that he may as well just give up all hope of being rescued and then kicked it repeatedly into the wall at 3AM, causing his neighbours to threaten to beat his head in. I'll take two if you can get them, there's no guarantee that sort of thing mightn't happen again.'

The Marquis wiped his lips daintily. 'I may be able to help you,' he said. He smiled at Ford in a way that was more a baring of the teeth than an expression of anything pleasant. 'I warn you, my price will be high. Don't think you can fob me off with anything less than I ask, I am no green boy. If you cheat me I will not scruple at making you pay and pay, in ways you will find less than pleasant.'

'Baby,' Ford said, a remarkably similar expression on his face, 'I'm not exactly a teenager myself. And when it comes to scruples, the only description I've ever heard of _my_ morals is that they're those of an --,' he paused, humour in his unblinking eyes, ' -- alley cat.'

The Marquis looked at him narrowly, and then gave a short, genuine laugh. He poured two glasses from a decanter of purple-red wine and passed one across to Ford.

The pleasantries over, the two of them got down to negotiating in earnest.


End file.
